What The Heck Is Going On?

Well it's Christmas eve and i have lost the holly jolliness :/ so much has just sprung out at me in the past i don't know 4 days that I'm over it. tomorrow i no i will probably be very happy and very excited but as of right now i just don't even know i feel like I'm a different person like I'm not me, i''m tierd, I'm grumpy, people who have hurt me are trying to be friends with me. and they don't get that yes i wanted everything to be over with but you cant just act all la DE frikken DA about it it's gonna take time and i do not trust them and will not tell them anything for well probably forever. i feel very alone in this world right now. the guy i like doesn't know i exhist, but then again he does he just doesn't like me :/ My friends aren't really acting like friends. the guy who is basically my brother is coming back around i love him to death I'm so glad God put him in my life he was gone for a while but i think we both just need a person to reliy on right now :) anyways i need a break tomorrow needs to come now.